Safehaven Social — Lesbian 101

By Arthur Chiang

6 August 2002

Contrary to popular belief, asking me to write about lesbianism is no easy feat. I will never really know what it is like to be a lesbian, how a woman can fall in love with another woman, and how they make love to each other.

I totally forgot that night was dedicated to our sisters (or brothers?) in Safehaven. Sitting beside Sister Roger and Sister Victor made me quite convinced that it was our brothers speaking that night. Carol, Jean, Peggy and Chris were the appointed speakers that night (did I miss out anyone?) Each of our dearest speakers focused on various portions of lesbianism — from anatomy, to sex, mindset and night life. The whole session was wrapped up by a series of hilarious but informative Q&A.

I am not about to go into description of what happened, and neither are you all that interested in reading a narrative account of the event, I presume. Perhaps I should examine this lesbian night from a gay man's perspective.

It has always been said that most gay men do not interact a lot with lesbians. Unfortunately, this happens to be quite true for me. For one, I do not know very well the lesbian lingo. Neither do I understand how a lesbian sees a gay man. Finally, although this may sound sexist, for some time I was not sure if there are any common grounds between a lesbian and a gay man.

I can only speak for myself here, but I am think most of my brothers (sisters) in Safehaven feel the same way: after Lesbian 101, I began to see lesbians in the same light as I look at gay men. We are one in this community, and one-in-Christ. Think about it. After all, God created us with human needs and desires — the need to feel emotionally secure in a relationship, to bond, and to find Him.

I dare not say that I have totally broken down all barriers when interacting with lesbians after that night, but I am quite sure that night certainly played its magic in me very well, now that I am much more open when I am with my lesbian friends. Instead of drawing lines and stereotyping each other, perhaps being able to live and work in one spirit is the key to showing the world that the strength of the alternative community lies in our abilities to neutralize our differences into one united family.