This year's retreat was like one of those freak thunderstorms; you arrive on Friday afternoon to a room full of a few people, and by midnight a storm of people has flooded the room. By the time the retreat had ended, half of the fellowship had joined us at the retreat.

It was a landmark retreat in more ways than one: it marked our fifth year as a fellowship, it was our first retreat in Singapore (due to SARS, we decided against our usual Malaysian getaway), it was the first time a straight speaker addressed us at our retreat, and it was also the first time we had a speaker who spoke openly against same-sex intercourse.

Rob, who is openly gay, spent much of his adult life in same-sex relationships, but now believes same-sex intercourse to be a sin and is currently celibate. His candid position came as a surprise to many in the fellowship, but most of us came to see the point Clarence made in his closing remarks to Rob's sermon; rather than simply speaking on 'Diversity', one of the three retreat themes, Rob and Safehaven enacted it in allowing an honest, friendly, courteous exchange of views. Jorn, for example, came away respecting him as a gay man still struggling with his sexual desires. I came away understanding how he maintains resolute silence amidst the raging debate within his home church.

Anthony, our straight speaker and a professional counsellor, was the highlight speaker of the weekend. Each one of us took something new away from his sermon. Kenneth remembers how Anthony reminds us not to exclude ourselves from the Church (capital C). It is one thing to be excluded from discourse and community, it is another to sever ourselves from it. In Anthony's words, 'it is not whether people accept you, or not — you belong, no matter what'. For Chee, it is the call to be the salt of the world, to enhance our spiritual life, to preserve the holy, to heal the scarred and wounded. For me, it is the reminder to be what Phillip Yancey calls 'a minister of grace', to weep with those who weep, and to rejoice with those who rejoice. Anthony has warmly received us as a fellowship, so do we increasingly see Anthony as a precious teacher and friend.

Over the course of the three days, we chose from two tracks of four workshops — on prayer, on worship, on the law, and on women in church history. It wasn't easy deciding — Alan was torn between attending the prayer workshop and leading his worship one! Miak said that 'the prayer workshop really benefited me', especially when he's a newer Christian 'not used to praying aloud'. Before the law workshop, Pete never really saw the urgency of organizing his personal legal documents, such as a will, and CPF nominations.

The worship team led the retreat into alternatingly joyous and intimate times with the Lord. We welcome back some of 'old faithful' worship leaders such as Roger, whose closing worship for the previous retreat was so inspirational that some of us still remember that spiritual encounter intensely. Worship so often breaks or makes a service, or a retreat, and I am happy and humbled to say that this retreat's worship renewed in me a vibrant enthusiasm for matters of faith.

We also got to know each other a lot better. We found out who snores, and who doesn't (and we're not telling!), who likes to make breakfast for everyone else (Chris) and who likes to eat them (me!); we also celebrated someone's birthday (Alan), but not before his special someone surprised him with the most fantastic cheesecake ever! Just how good was the cheesecake? Think of it this way, people are still asking for seconds (and thirds) the day after!

When the retreat ended with Clarence's call for feedback, Cyrus said that this was the best of the three retreats he has attended, Christine singled out the prayer workshop for praise, and Miak invited anyone and everyone to join him for beach volleyball. We also decided that we can do with less fried rice and fried noodles next year, because there was so much left after our lunches and dinners! So, with the sun and sand calling, and worship songs still ringing in our ears, we left for home.