Pulau Ubin, Singapore

27-28 July 2002

By JasonY

Here's a simple but lovely poem "Faith", which I read in this book titled 'FISH!'. It's a book about motivation and boosting morale, and not on christianity actually ... Although I renewed my faith in the Lord during the KL retreat, I still do fear that I will lapse and lose my faith now and then in times of personal adversity, as I had in the past.

Faith

I want to write about faith
about the way the moon rises
over cold snow, night after night

faithful even as it fades from fullness
slowly becoming that last curving and impossible
sliver of light before the final darkness
but I have no faith myself
I refuse to give it the smallest entry

Let this then, my small poem,
like a new moon, slender and barely open,
be the first prayer that opens me to faith.

This poem serves to remind me of the faith I should continue to always have in the Lord, just like the moon that fades from fullness to a sliver of light, but never fails to become full again.

During this Ubin trip, I think the greatest lesson Lord taught me was to continue to have faith. I felt so carefree, relaxing amidst the nature at Ubin. The sun set, plunging us into darkness at Ubin, but it rose again the next day. It's like God's display of His patience and hope he had for us, giving us a new day to press on, or to start all over again (by the way, the sunrise at Noordin beach campsite was so beautiful this morning). At night, lying down in the open, looking at the stars and the night sky, I thank God for creating lovely things for us to look at after a hard day's work, to uplift our spirits.

Here's another passage from the same book:

I don't believe that companies are necessary prisons,
but sometimes we make prisons of them by the way we
choose to work there. I have created a prison and the
walls are my own lack of faith in myself.

How true, when I drew an analogy to myself, when I thought of the way I dealt with my church, and sometimes with people, in the past. I used to think, "Why would I care? Do you really care about me?" The fact is, I realized, I had actually built four walls around myself, and in the process, alienated myself from Him. But then, God was always watching me through the top, the lobang where the roof is supposed to be. :-)

I always think: in a church, we can display a lot of grace to each other, but in times of adversity, will we be like a pack of flies that swarm away in all directions? Will I be like Peter, who disowned Jesus? When I'm sick with a terminal disease, will I be angry with the Lord and lose complete faith in him? (That's my toothache in life.)

I'm glad that I chose to continue to stay with Safehands during our little 'crisis', because with each meeting and outing, like this Ubin trip, I feel a closer bond with Cyrus, Leroy, Steve and Francis. Thanks to all the people who planned, organized, cooked or simply made themselves present there,
who made this a wonderful trip. Luv ya.